Boats Against the Current
by tmomo
Summary: I remember the rest of that day as an endless line of police and photographers and newspaper men coming in and out. Hinata's blurry face eventually graced me with brief solace but it wasn't enough. Not after what happened. All I had left were the memories of fights, lazy afternoons and lavish parties hosted by one Kakashi Hatake. KakaIru AU 1920s Based on The Great Gatsby
1. The Evergreen and the Overgrowth

**_The Great Kakashi Hatake_**

* * *

My wife had left with the children about a year ago. There hadn't been much fuss about it on my part. Hinata was never the type to argue but her steadfast love could only take her so far. I was a wreck back then and I still was when my doctor recommended a new approach last night.

She said with her blond hair pulled back in a tight, businesslike bun that was very unlike her, "Why don't you write about it?"

The question had never once dawned upon me. I hadn't written anything since coming to the institution and it had been an even longer time since that. It was a treasured pleasure of my past, something I'd told her in confidence. It was the reason for her trepidation to suggest and I'd at first scoffed at the idea but there I was that night with my typewriter dragged out from its hidden home in my closet.

There was doubt upon doubt that any of this would heal, that it would instead bring up old memories that burned with guilt. What could they do to stop the depression or anxiety? What words could I write that would bring things back to the way they were before I'd lost the love of my life to the loss of my life?

As I sat at the keys that night, thinking about how this would never help my mental health, a line came into my head.

"_Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone," he told me, "just remember that there is more to life than meets the eye. You have to see underneath the underneath."_

Those were the words of an old friend.

I'd been raised without a proper mother or father to guide me along the right path but this friend was all and more during my formative years. His words were the ones that helped me become more of a man and I would never know what those words truly meant to him until I turned twenty-two.

At the time, I was a bright and shiny new employee working for one of the largest banks in Konoha, ready to start climbing. Full of eager determination, there was nothing that could stand in my way and I was soon promoted to a permanent position. With my steady income and savings account ready for the future, I purchased a home outside the city and a brand-new automobile for the commute. And I'd bought it all for one person.

If I may exaggerate for just a moment, there was no one else on the planet who was as beautiful as my wife to be. Hinata came from a very rich and prestigious family who had standards higher than any king, someone who I never would have met if not for my closest friend getting married. We were introduced at a wedding reception and would later meet often at parties of mutual friends. It was only after an incident on the train that her family looked upon me fondly and with gratefulness, allowing me to finally court the woman of my dreams. I had proposed soon after and this small home I'd bought in the Overgrowth was meant to be our first home as a married couple.

It was a perfect, little home with a rich garden and a view of the lake from every window on the south side. Ducks would laze around near the shore and there was almost always a butterfly fluttering around. The master suite on the second floor, a kitchen on the main and a sitting room that overlooked the water; everything was perfect. It was small but a complete opposite of the life Hinata often complained about with her grandiose family. He hoped she would find this to be a home for herself and if she ever felt homesick, her family was always right across the lake in the Evergreens.

Her family was old money and so were the other Evergreen homes like the Naras and the Yamanakas that bordered the waters of the lake. Acres and acres of land was dedicated to wealthy families while my side of the pond was a newly built subdivision of lavish mansions. But even in the Overgrowth, my tiny hut was the only piece of property that was anything normal sized, but I was used to even smaller apartments where one step from the couch would put you in the kitchen.

It was my pride and joy, really. The trees hung high above the roof and made a canopy above that had shone down onto the steps leading up to it, calling my name. It was an oasis between the insane houses next door.

To the left and over the hedges that separated each piece of land, there was a castle-like structure that was owned by a very unfriendly couple who kept to themselves but loved to parade around the neighbourhood in their fancy limousine that was very pleasing to the eye.

There weren't any neighbours across the road yet but my closest neighbour was by far the most interesting person I had ever met and ever would meet. I hadn't seen the man yet but there was life that spilled out from the estate over the hedges. The beach that connected our homes was always full on weekends and I had been surprised to find that every Saturday night, my neighbour would without fail hold an extravagant party that was heard of even in the city. Music, laughter and absurd noises were a normal occurrence on Saturday nights with hundreds of people streaming in through the front gates. I'd even heard about these magnificent parties at work but I always told coworkers who asked about my neighbour that I hadn't met them yet.

Although, they had sent a basket of food over with a formal letter what welcomed me to the neighbourhood which was astounding to my young mind at the time. Eager to thank him and meet him in person, I took the long walk along the bushes to the gates right of mine but an attendant turned me away, saying that the master of the house wasn't home and to come back in the evening.

With work the next morning, I went back home disappointed but returned in the day to give a letter to the gate attendant that explained my gratitude and to thank him in person.

I would have tried again the next evening but plans had already been made and I wasn't about to skip out on them for the world.

Family was a word I was never really acquainted with since my parents died when I was young but there was only one man in the entire world who had filled that hole in my life. Ever since I was a child, we would get up to the craziest antics at boarding school. We had been like brothers and there was no one else in the world who could compare in my mind. At the time, Iruka Umino was a constant reminder to me of what an honest, hardworking man was and I adored him to pieces. Nothing could change that in my eyes. Not even when he married a girl who I'd been sweet on before meeting the love of my life. Not even anything that happened after that.

Across the lake in the Evergreens, the Haruno mansion had been passed on to Sakura when she agreed to marry the most dependable and stable bachelor on the market. Despite their age gap, the press had gone mad for the Haruno heir finally getting affianced and I'd been happy for their marriage, happy to see my good friend finally settling down. Iruka was reliable and steadfast to a point. He had even introduced me to the love of my life and I could never repay him enough.

Iruka and his marriage was one I had thought I wanted to model since they were such a good pair. I soon realised though that this was an image created by the public eye. My dear friend was committed and loyal. So much so that he refused to acknowledge what was going on right before his eyes, blinded by love maybe.

Sakura was someone easy to love, after all.

When I arrived at their home that evening, Sakura greeted me at the call of the doorbell with a warm smile that reminded me of our school days. Her inviting eyes and charming grin could pull to shore even the sturdiest of sailors. The way she beckoned me inside enchanted me to follow her into her lair.

"Naruto!" She playfully squeezed and pulled me through the vast halls of her home, all the while chatting excitedly. "It's been so long, Naruto! You've finally shaved!"

"I finally had a mirror to see myself in!"

Her giggles like chimes, she gripped my arm happily. "You look so much better without the stubble. I'm so happy you're not in the city anymore. How was the move? Are you all settled?"

Her rapid-fire questions would all be answered in due time but a voice from down the hall caught both their attention.

"I didn't know we had a pest problem!"

Up the hall ahead of them, the door to the study had been swung open with a figure of a man standing in the doorway with a presence that commanded everyone's attention. Just like his wife, Iruka Umino's temperament was something of legend. The familiar quirk of his lips and the spark of life in his eyes at seeing me was like coming home to and told you that you were just the person he was looking for. His charm and good looks hadn't changed since he'd started working at Konoha University. I could remember a time with there was more mischief behind that smirk but the war had taken a toll on everyone. I had been one of the thankful few to miss that boat but Iruka hadn't. It was all the more reason to admire him. There was something about a man who had seen so many atrocities but could still smile like you were the world.

With a giant hug, Iruka welcomed him. He smelled of fresh linens just like he always did and it was like no time had passed at all. Over lunch, we talked about work, life and Sakura prodded me for news of the wedding and how plans were coming along. As I explained the plans Hinata and I had managed to settle on like location and theme, I couldn't help but see the approving smirk that Iruka was watching them with from his side of the table.

The first interruption was the doorbell and Sakura happily went to answer it.

"Ino Yamanaka," Iruka explained. "You remember her from the wedding, right?"

"You've been married for almost two years, Iruka." I warned, wracking my brain for any recollection of the name but Iruka simply patted my hand and stood.

"You'll remember." He assured and indeed I did.

As much as I had been busy fawning over my dearest, Ino Yamanaka was a hard woman to forget. Her and Sakura were both stunning women but I remembered then that Ino was an actress and model, someone with a personality as grand as she was beautiful.

"Naruto!" She greeted with equal excitement that Sakura had before skipping over to exchange cheek kisses with Iruka. "We finally all meet in the same place again! Now, I want to know every single detail of the wedding plans and what you need so I can get you in touch with the bests in the business."

"That's so nice of you Ino," I chuckled at her enthusiasm but Ino was insistent on my wedding to Hinata being the event of the year. "I'm just trying to get settled in my new home for a start."

"That's true," Ino mused as she lounged back in her dinner chair. "I heard you moved across the way, into the Overgrowth."

"Ino," Sakura chided with a smile to me. "It's his first home and he bought it all on his own. It's an amazing accomplishment."

"I know that," Ino snapped back but Sakura was already on her tail.

"Yes, but you implied that it wasn't an accomplishment."

As the girls began to argue, Iruka shifted in the seat next to me and I saw him giving me a roll of his eyes at this routine occurrence. Eventually, they finished arguing with words that caught Iruka's attention.

"Well, I don't know anyone there. Except for Hatake of course," Ino was saying and if I hadn't been looking Iruka's way, I never would have seen the recognition in his eyes and the soft astonishment that came over him, mind drifting instantly into another world that wasn't our own.

"Hatake?" He whispered but his words were swallowed up by one of the servants announcing dinner. The look faded away and so did my attention but I would have caught the hazy nostalgia behind his eyes if I had stayed on him.

Dinner had been lovely with the girls gossiping to me about people I didn't remember over food that was so amazing compared to what I could do at home. I had realised sometime through the meal that I remembered the name Ino had mentioned before: Hatake. It had been the name signed at the bottom of the welcome note my mysterious neighbour had left and I was eager to talk to the girls about him, see what they knew.

The opportunity came up again but a shrill ring of the telephone cut through the conversation and everyone froze, the light and happy air from before suddenly dropping into a chill. The butler called Sakura to the phone and she excused herself with a smile to the next room over. The doors closed and I at first didn't realise that something was wrong until the silence finally got overwhelming.

With his brows furrowed and a tight smile, Iruka stood and followed after his wife, closing the door behind them.

It was quiet again and I finally broke the silence with, "About that Hatake fellow you mentioned earlier, I think he might be my-"

"Shh!" Ino quickly hushed him, her whole demeanor on edge as she held her head alert, listening to the conversation mumbled on the other side of the door.

"What's going on?" I asked and she seemed puzzled by my confusion.

"You don't know? I thought you were Iruka's best man." When I didn't respond, she leaned in close and whispered a secret that made me realise that looks were deceiving. "Let's just say that Iruka isn't the only man in Sakura's life."

"What?"

She patted my hand fondly, a knowing look in her eyes. "You've been gone for far too long, Naruto."

At the sound of footsteps, the couple came back into the room with Sakura looking innocently at Iruka and Iruka with his eyes on me.

"Looks like your suit is ready at the tailors, darling." Sakura's words were ignored though.

"I'm so glad you're here, Naruto." Iruka fondly said as he sat back down in his chair. A hand slithered onto his shoulder possessively and Sakura squeezed with a sickly-sweet smile. He didn't look at her though, his eyes cold even though his warm smile was pointed my way. Sakura's hand slipped away and he seemed to relax a little with distance between them.

It was an uncomfortable tension that slowly faded away into the night but when I spoke with Iruka after, I didn't have the courage to mention any of it even when we were alone. I didn't know if Iruka knew what was going on but the subject of marriage came about and I couldn't help but ask jokingly, "Any advice for a husband to be?"

The smile from their jokes faded. My dearest friend seemed to retreat inside himself for a moment as he did when thinking back to the war but then he seemed to remember who he was talking. The sad tilt to his lips were the only thing I need to see to know that his words hinted at other things.

"Just… Do what you think is right. Even if it doesn't feel good."

I brought those words home with me that night and pondered over them as I walked up the stone path to my front door. It felt like Iruka wasn't as naive to what was going on as I thought. There was a part of me that didn't want to believe the rumours. It didn't feel like it could happen to such a perfect couple but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like there was some truth to it, especially with Iruka's words and facial expressions in my mind.

My thoughts were distracted though by a letter neatly tucked into the window of my door with a familiar emblem on the front. As it turns out, it was a letter from my neighbour again. This time, I was being invited to the party he always held Saturday night and it ended with the perfect, practised signature: Hatake.

As I slumped into my thinking chair in the living room with the letter, I noticed through the glass doors leading to the patio that there was a man out on the beach, walking a dog past my property. The strange part was that he was still outfitted in a suit and tie with his feet bare on the sand. He was wandering across the sand and I managed to catch sight of him heading up the dunes to the lawn next door.

It left me alone with wonder if that was my mysterious neighbour, Hatake.

The next morning, I found myself looking for something to wear to a party and found that my favourite bow tie was stained and ruined from coffee.

I could have gone into the city next Monday to have it fixed or maybe to find a new one but my eagerness to impress had me driving through the busy streets that afternoon. The dry cleaners had pronounced it dead at twelve-hundred hours and I mournfully went to find a replacement at the cleaner's suggestion. The best tailor in the city wasn't too far and the cleaner had said that they even sold handmade bow ties. It was at least worth a shot.

My high hopes were on a rollercoaster when I found that the front sign said they were on a break for the next half hour. The shops nearby seemed like a good shot but twenty minutes later, I ended up back at the tailor's. Patience was never been my strength but I wished that I'd had the patience back then to wait, looking back on it all.

The shop door had been left unlocked to my surprise and soaring hope. It was a quiet, sleek shop that had suits and dresses on mannequins with a desk at the back but an odd noise caught my attention more than anything. It sounded like someone crying at first and like the good citizen I was, I had to come to the rescue. To my surprise, I didn't find someone crying. At least, they weren't crying out in pain or sadness.

My feet brought me to the street but I could hear the people I'd caught in a passionate, horrifying embrace swear and hurry after me. I'd heard Sakura mention Iruka's suits being ready. Why hadn't I put two and two together?

"Naruto," Sakura's shaking voice called out but I couldn't stop. I'd seen too much already and my mind was already trying to push everything away as if I hadn't seen anything.

"Naruto, please!" She called and her steps were hurrying to catch up. A hand was on my arm and she swung me around to face her. Green eyes sparkling with tears and scared beyond belief, she whimpered out at people passed us by, "Please, Naruto. Please, I'll do anything just…"

The shame and guilt on her face closed her up as she pleaded out finally, "Just don't tell him."

Whether it was the look of total regret or the pitiful tears streaming down her face in the middle of a busy street, I didn't have much of a choice. I'd always been fond of her. That was something that never changed even if she was married to my best friend. Even though I'd just caught her with another man who I didn't recognize. I knew Sakura better than that but I loved my family too. And I was conflicted.

So, I left.

I heard her call after me again but I was in a daze. I just wanted to get home but I couldn't tell if that meant going to find Iruka and confessing what I saw or truly going home. As it turns out, my feet didn't lead me back home. Instead, I drove across the lake passed the Haruno mansion and into the Hyuuga estate. Before I could even ring the doorbell, the beautiful vision of a woman in fine fabrics was coming around the side of the house from the garden. Dark hair tumbled down from the bun it was pinned into with a smudge of dirt on her cheek but she was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen.

She called my name, seeing that something was wrong and we went through the garden to sit and talk.

As I told her about the night before, I couldn't bring myself to tell her what I'd seen that afternoon no matter how much I wanted to. It didn't feel like it was a secret for me to tell just yet, I owed Iruka that much.

"It may just be rumours," Hinata suggested helpfully and I squeezed her hand. Just having her nearby was a warm blanket to his anxieties.

"Hopefully."

And that was the first secret I had to keep.

"Now, tell me about this mysterious neighbour of yours."

With my mind heavy but heart light once more, I returned home for the night to attend Hatake's extravagant party at Hinata's suggestion.

I hoped it would lighten my spirits and maybe distract me from my troubles with new company and a drink. I was not wrong in the slightest but my expectations had been set vastly low for what I was about to witness that night.

With a bow tie borrowed from Hinata's father, I headed up the road on foot and followed the stream of cars that ran from far down the street and into the gates next door. The procession led me to the elaborate fountain in front of the grand stairs of the front door. People of all kinds littered the outside in glittering silver and gold but I followed the mass of people towards the light pouring from the open entrance.

The beautifully tall ceilings above were just the roof of this amazing home but the walls were painted red and trimmed with marble. Silver and crystal fixtures hung down above them and the home was in pure chaos. Recognisable people from all walks of life were everywhere, dancing and drinking their problems away while waiters and staff bustled around, filling glasses and handing out drinks. I could barely manage to get through to the first set of rooms that were packed with people. From somewhere inside, a band was playing music and the further inside I went, the more I realised that almost each room had a band playing inside it.

It was no wonder these parties were so spoken of. They roared against the beat of daily life as something an average person could look forward to when the weekend rolled in. At first, I was in awe of it all until a waiter shook me from my stupor with an offer. The rest of the day faded away into the drinks I had, the conversations that melted away as soon as they were made and the people around me who danced with distracting flair. The different colours and patterns were hypnotizing to such an extent that I could barely answer when a voice asked from somewhere in front of me as I chased a drink, "Having a good time, are we?"

"Indeed! It's like a festival but there's more of… Everything."

As I palmed a new glass from the waiter who finally spotted me, I didn't have a chance to politely ask the same of the stranger before they asked, "A festival, eh? I always hoped it would seem that way. Although, I do think that there's never a lack of lights."

Just as I turned to focus on the person who was addressing me, I recognised the implications in his tone as he said with a fond smile that quirked up to the birth mark on his chin, "Forgive me for the delay, Mister Uzumaki. I meant to pay you a visit but I thought it would be rude to come to you on my own owl-like schedule."

Against the wild party behind him, Kakashi Hatake was a figure of calm that radiated a warm that sought to invite and protect. His height and hair made for an obvious beacon within the crowd but his relaxed, deliberate manner of moving fit right into the expression of luxury all around them. It was the same loosened demeanor that others of his social class kept as if there wasn't a worry in their mind to the rest of the world but their own perfect bubble. Eyes of storm clouds and thunder were the only indication that the visage of Kakashi Hatake hid more under the surface and I was entranced in this intriguing man. From that moment on, I knew that life had changed for me and that I would forever be compelled to seek out this man's company. In search of what, I didn't know. And that was the moment that our fates were sealed to be what I now call my present.

"Mister Hatake."


	2. Making Connections and Talking Gossip

"Mister Hatake." The words simply fell out like air and the older man chuckled, a calming response.

"Call me Kakashi." I found myself shaking a deceitfully strong grip as Kakashi went on, "Mister Hatake was my father."

"Kakashi. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Call me Naruto."

"Naruto. The pleasure is mine." Words that felt truer than if someone had said the sky was blue or the champagne that night chilled to perfection. With a motion to through the crowd to a terrace that overlooked the waters, Kakashi swept through the people gracefully as if they never existed and I followed through the channel he created. The other people on the carefully paced stone weave of the terrace were too enraptured by the stars and sky to notice us and I was too excited to pay them any mind.

"It's nice to finally meet a neighbour who accepts my invitations." Kakashi was saying and I chuckled at our aligned experiences. "Tell me, Naruto. What did you do to land yourself on this side of the bay?"

His conversation was charismatic and I found myself eagerly talking about my job at the bank. My whole life seemed to spill out and he listened without ever saying anything of himself. He simply asked questions that drew the answers from me and I felt compelled to answer until I realised myself.

"Ah, but you know everything about me and I know nothing about you," I whined and the older man put on a knowing smile and nodded to me.

"Ask away then."

"How long have you lived here?" It was an easy conversation started, one I had learned from the best conversationalist I knew.

"Almost a year now." Kakashi replied elegantly as we stood between the party and the group lounging on the level of stone below us. "Won it in a game of cards."

"Cards?"

There was a chuckle and a playful wink as Kakashi sipped his drink, notifying me that it might not be the whole truth.

"You liar." I accused but the older man was already smirking and looking away towards the beach and the dock he kept.

"I may be a liar but I do love it here." We looked out across the bay as the music drifted away into the background, staring off at the lights that glittered along the shoreline and the outlines of grand homes in the distance. The sentiment was one I had felt ever since finding my small home next door and found my eyes drawn to a home he could easily pick out from the others, one that sparkled with lights in a distinct pattern.

"My soon to be wife lives right there," I motioned to the home across the bay that the Hyuuga's had lived in for generations, where my darling lay sleeping for the night or probably reading by candlelight instead.

"The Hyuuga mansion?" I found Kakashi studying me, mind whirling and I never expected for him to ask, "You're marrying their eldest daughter, aren't you?"

"Ah? How'd you guess that?"

"I heard about you in the papers, I think. A young man who saved an entire train from hijackers." His subtle astonishment had me embarrassed and I brushed it off.

"It was a small thing to do to win the girl of my dreams. At least, according to her father it was." We laughed again and I asked a question anyone else would ask in that situation, to continue our conversation. "How about you? Any wives I should know about?"

There was a soft chuckle before it trailed off into a hint of emotion that felt bittersweet and raw. His eyes never met mine but I could see a wistfulness in them from the past as he muttered, "No. No wives for me."

I didn't press but the conversations after that seemed to fall into dead air, taking flight sometimes but never for long. Eventually, the party petered away and we stepped through the mess of beautiful halls to the main door where Kakashi gave him a smile, "It was nice to finally meet you, Naruto."

"You too, Kakashi." I grinned back against a feeling in my gut, a feeling as though there still wasn't something quite right. I wondered if I had said anything wrong or brought up a sore subject for a minute.

"Why don't you come over again tomorrow, without all the mess." A tilt of his head gestured to the people still trickling out with happy smiles as music still dragged on.

"Of course."

I went home that night to crash on my couch with the worries of the rest of the day forgotten until I awoke the next morning when my telephone rang.

"Hello?"

"Ah, Naruto," Iruka's voice brought everything back from the day before and I snapped awake at the realisation.

"Iruka! How's it going?"

"Would you like to go for lunch today? My treat." He seemed unshaken by anything at all and I thought to my promise I'd made the night before, to meet Mister Hatake again.

"Well, I actually have plans to go over to my neighbour's today." I expected him to be at least somewhat disappointed, a little moved by my response.

"Ah, well then, how about next weekend?" He seemed as eager as before.

"Sure," The small talk that finished our conversation was unsettling to say the least and I was frustrated somehow. He didn't seem to let anything disappoint him, to sadden him. He sounded like he had a permanent smile on his face and it frustrated me.

Knocking on Mister Hatake's door that afternoon, he was surprised to find his host opening the door for him but unsurprised to find him dressed as finely as the night before, if not more appropriately for lunch than a dinner party. Leading me through the same halls, I noticed how empty it all felt without so many people crowding the halls. This time, I could better examine the floors and decor that populated the rooms. It was all so elegant that it felt like nothing had ever been touched in these rooms. The tour ended though in the most warm, comfortable part of the mansion and I never thought I'd ever in my life feel comfortable in a library.

Lounging into one of the armchairs, Mister Hatake nodded to other and I sat eagerly into the cushions. The whole room was lines with shelves, filled to the brim so much with books that even the level above them was full of books. I almost wanted to go up the spiral staircase and peruse the stacks.

"Even in school, I never felt comfortable surrounded by so many books." My awe drew Mister Hatake's interest.

"And how did you finish your studies if you can't stand literature?" He had been joking but my mind went back to Iruka and his obliviousness, anger bubbling up as I sighed and gripped my seat.

"I had a great friend to help me," I didn't notice how I had ground out those words but Kakashi had.

"You seem upset."

"I am upset," I admitted and Mister Hatake waited for me to continue. "A good friend of mine is beginning to annoy me."

"Oh?" Mister Hatake stood, heading over to a small trolley of liquors where he casually poured, listening as I spoke.

"He just seemed to be ignoring all the horrible things that are happening around him and doing nothing about them. I mean, they obviously upset him. So, I don't understand why he doesn't do something about it." Taking the glass offered, I stewed as Mister Hatake went back to his own seat and sipped thoughtfully.

"Well, have you spoken to your friend about it?"

"No," I shamefully took a drink and muttered to myself, "I don't think he'd talk to me about it anyway. He never really talked about his problems with me."

"What do you think he should do?"

I could only shrug into the silence before Mister Hatake spoke again, "Maybe your friend isn't ignoring it. Maybe he's dealing with it in his own way."

With a hum, I wondered what was going through Iruka's mind and changed the subject to work, asking what the other man did for a living only to receive a wink as he lied through his teeth, "I'm royalty, I don't need a job."

Eventually, I learned bit by bit about the man next door. He loved to read. When I admitted finally that I used to write he insisted on reading my work. He had many dogs that I had the chance to help walk along the beach that afternoon. The most intriguing part was that he'd been in the war too; a general. All mystery and sound advice, Mister Hatake bid me a good evening as I trekked back up the sands home, shoes in hand.

The rest of the week before I had promised to meet Iruka was spent in thought, pondering over what Iruka was doing and why he didn't take charge of his marriage. Thinking of Sakura, I knew that divorce wasn't an option. She was a woman of high class and repute. Iruka wasn't such a cruel man to divorce her and spoil her reputation, both their reputation. Maybe it was a fear of further splitting them apart that he let Sakura have her fun. Maybe they had an arrangement. There were some odd couples who did that but I'd never thought them to be the type.

Work seemed to speed by all too fast and when lunch the following weekend rolled around, I was hesitant to even step out of my own home where Iruka was waiting with a smile.

But I climbed into his car and we set off for a diner on the other side of town, near where they'd grown up and close to the university Iruka worked at.

With the usual ordered, we settled into quiet conversation about music and film, things we both hadn't spoken of in ages. As our food came, I tried to work up the courage to talk to him, ask him about his marriage, but I never found the chance. We ate and there was never a good time to talk. Even on the drive home, Iruka kept the conversation about work and everything else until my own marriage came up.

"Well, I think the church is what her family wants. I know she wants an outdoor wedding though. Kind of like yours." I watched as Iruka's expression faltered, smile dipping into a flat line. For a second, he glanced over at me, we locked eyes and I could tell he knew what I was thinking of. His eyes spoke volumes about knowing what I knew and knowing that I knew.

The car went quiet and he snapped his eyes back to the road, hands gripping the wheel tightly. We said nothing for the rest of the way but parted with smiles that felt less than genuine.

That night, I found myself at Mister Hatake's once more with the intention of drinking myself silly. Before I could even find a waiter to confiscate a drink from, a hand grabbed me from the crowd. Expecting Mister Hatake, I was surprised to see long blond hair and a glittering dress of navy diamonds.

Ino and I found a quieter room to speak, hiding up in Mister Hatake's library where the music was dimmed.

"You saw them?" She paled, pressing both hands to her face and moaning to herself, "Damn it, Sakura."

"Iruka knows."

She looked up from her hands in shock. "You're not serious."

"As serious as when he left for war."

We stewed in the muffed music coming from outside until Ino spoke softly, "She told me that he didn't love her. Not really."

"And what does that mean?"

"I don't know. She said he acted like they were friends. That he never…" She trailed off again as we heard shoes hit metal.

Coming down the spiral stairs, Mister Hatake huffed in surprise, "Oh, forgive me for interrupting."

With as much of a smile I could muster, I stood and moved forward to shake his hand. "Sorry that we're in your space, Kakashi."

"No problem here," Ever the gentleman, Mister Hatake took Ino's hand as she approached. "Pleasure to meet you again, Miss Yamanaka."

"Mister Hatake," As they shook hands, I blinked between them.

"You two know each other?"

"Of course, we do, I've been coming to these parties ever since he started throwing them," Ino dropped back into her seat as Kakashi went and took my own seat, leaving me standing.

"She's been my best guest so far," Kakashi smirked. "Always drinks enough and never outstays her welcome."

"Of course," Ino seemed to settle back into her thoughts and I knew where her mind was going.

"Kakashi, remember that friend I told you about?"

Ino looked up and we both listened as the older man swirled his drink around and hummed, "I do."

"His wife is cheating on him with another man."

"But she says that he's never loved her," Ino finished.

"What would you do if you're wife was cheating on you and thought you didn't love her?"

My question was answered with a sip of brandy before Mister Hatake turned his dark eyes back up and said simply, "Well, it depends on if I truly love my wife or not."

The conversation ended after that and moved into easier territory. It wasn't an easy problem to think about or even speak of, one that we had no place in. It was Iruka's battle to fight, his marriage.

"What do you think of him?" I asked as we walked towards the gates together, wondering if she too thought that he was as eccentric as he was wise too.

"Mister Hatake?" When I nodded, she hummed. "He's a very interesting fellow, of course. He's terribly lonely though, I think."

"You think?"

"I know he is. There's a reason he throws all these parties every weekend."

"To make friends?"

"That might be one reason," Her face softened into a dreamy faze, thinking of things that she had only ever been a passenger to and dreams she'd had. "Maybe he's just trying to find his special gal."

I remembered the question I had posed to him the week before and Mister Hatake's reaction, how his expression had changed into one that wasn't wistful or dreaming of the future like Ino's. I didn't kill her dreams though. Instead, I walked her to my car and drove her back to her apartment in the city where she gave me a squeeze on the shoulder goodnight.

The drive back was filled of thoughts of love and romance, wondering why it was so complicated for everyone else. At the time, I was naive to love's true form and what it did to the mind. I simply dreamed of my wife to be as the air from the bay hit my face, forgetting for a moment about the problems and mysteries of other people.

Weeks later, I would find myself thrown into the hysteria of it all.


	3. Fragile Paradise

Weeks later, I would find myself thrown into the hysteria of it all. And it all truly began when I came home one night from work to a man in a dark blue suit sitting on my porch. Legs crossed in the chair, Mister Hatake smiled from the dark and stood to greet me, cunning eyes studying my every move.

"Kakashi, what a surprise," I said honestly.

"Good evening, Naruto." The oddly formal greeting told me that this was no ordinary meeting of ours. Instead of meeting as friends, as we had done time and time again over the past few weeks, he came to me like a businessman would. He was analysing me, studying me as if ready to fight back at any second or decipher a code.

"What's going on?"

"I was wondering about that good friend you've spoken to me about. The one with the marital problems." Then he waited, watching me.

"Yes?"

"You've never told me his name." I had done so deliberately. Not that I had little trust that Mister Hatake could keep a secret, I simply had omitted Iruka's name for privacy's sake. Until then, it hadn't mattered.

"I didn't think it really mattered."

Then Mister Hatake relaxed, smiling fondly as he admitted, "Forgive me, I simply thought that he sounded familiar, the way you speak of him."

"Familiar?"

Eyes looking off passed the house, the older man stepped into memories as he mused, "I knew a man in school, before the war. We became… Good friends."

Before he could drift off any further, dark eyes turned to me and smiled. "We were both drafted before we got our doctorates and haven't seen each other since. I was hoping to find him here in Konoha."

With a civil understanding, Mister Hatake strode passed me with a pat to my shoulder as he headed off through the bushes to the gate separating our lands, "Remember to send over some of your manuscripts sometime."

Before he could step out of sight, I stopped him. I too wanted to know if he and Iruka had been friends before the war. If he too knew what Iruka had been like before the war had changed him. I hadn't seen Iruka before he'd been drafted. I had been busy chasing after girls who didn't love me and writing stories that I thought would be so much more important than spending a few last moments with the man I'd come to see as a big brother, a father.

"Kakashi." The man stopped in his tracks and turned, framed by the light of his mansion across the fence of leaves. "He's coming over tomorrow. To help me paint my master bedroom."

There was a smirk. "How big is your master bedroom that you need two people to paint it?"

"Pretty big," I mused. "We might need three people."

In the faint light, Kakashi's grin was a sight to behold, one of hope and excitement beyond years of hard work and pain. "Maybe I'll swing by."

"See you tomorrow." I waved and the older man nodded, stepping away into the trees.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think there might have been a shred of doubt. The way he said friends had implied that there was more and I wouldn't understand until the next day when Iruka pulled up into the drive in a pair of stained trousers and a shirt he could easily bleach clean.

I had drinks already made. Most of the house was clean enough but my other guest had yet to show even as Iruka grinned at me. "It's a lot cleaner than I remember your old places being."

"Well, my apartments were always the size of a shoebox. Now I have space to stretch out." As I leaned out the doorway, staring through the drizzle of rain towards Mister Hatake's hedges, I could see no sign of him at all. Iruka gave me a quirk of his brow. I tried to put on my best poker face. "My neighbour might swing by today to help out."

"Three people to paint a bedroom, Naruto?" He sighed, "Unless you plan on lazing about, of course."

"I do not," Before he could tease anymore, I led us upstairs to collect all my belongings away from. the walls. Ever the responsible, Iruka had brought tape and a tarp as if he'd known that I would forget you needed those things to protect the rest of the room. He chided me for almost making a mess and we took a break before actually painting for drinks downstairs.

He noticed the third drink I'd set and said nothing, instead studying the rest of the house for what I regretfully realised was the first time. Watching his outline framed by the bay in the distance, I told myself that this was a good way to make up for all the wasted time.

A small knock shot me to the door and there was my third guest, standing in the drizzling rain with his shoulders and hair soaked. As I ushered him in, I saw him for the first time as stressed. Instead of his slow, calculated movements, he seemed stiff.

"You're late."

He shoved his hands into his pockets and stalked into my home as he replied vaguely, "I got lost on the beach."

"He's in the living room."

He looked at me, nodded and took a deep breath.

As quick as he was to step into the kitchen, he was just as sudden to stop in his tracks, stilled by the other person across the way and the meeting of eyes.

Curious and eager to see what was going on, I moved to another entry into the living room, finding both men staring across the space at each other. Glassy and just as fragile, they didn't move or even breathe audibly in case something would shatter and I stepped into the room to break the overbearing quiet.

"Ah, Iruka. This is my neighbour, Kakashi Hatake," I introduced, knowing full well from their faces they were acquainted.

"We've met before," Was Iruka's faint response, eyes finally blinking out of their stupor to look everywhere else but at the people in the room.

"Well," I pulled a grin anxiously. "How about a drink?"

Seconds later, we were sitting around my coffee table with drinks in hand but little difference in attitude. Next to me, I could see Iruka's hands massaging the glass and his face going pink with obvious embarrassment. He said softly, "We haven't seen each other in years."

"Four years this winter," Kakashi's voice was just as quiet, stiffly sipping from his glass as I saw Iruka's gaze on his own drink soften from anxious to sombre.

And yet, in the armchair across from us, Kakashi made no other motion to continue the conversation passed that.

The man fluent in creating discussion who had suggested this meeting was utterly stumped for words. He instead stared off out the glass doors with his whole body stiff.

It was as if he was nervous, a revelation that had me standing and heading to the kitchen.

"I almost forgot the paint my car," Was my excuse but as I rounded the corner towards the door, a hand snatched my arm.

"Naruto. What are you doing?" Kakashi was right there with me in the doorway, whispering as he gripped my arm almost like a child.

Frustrated, I shrugged him off. "What am I doing? What are you doing? You're the one who suggested this and yet you're being so impolite."

The older man took a step back in confusion. "Impolite?"

"Your acting as if you don't want to see him. He probably thinks you hate him from the way you're acting." I tapped the glass he still had tight in his grip. "Loosen up a little."

After a second, Kakashi downed the rest of the drink in one slug and nodded to me with a pat on my shoulder, "Thank you."

I left out the door after that. I didn't hear the conversation after that and instead sat in my car, watching the beach passed my home roll in and out for a few minutes. I wondered what had happened so many years ago for them to act this way around each other. They had been like schoolboys, both of them too embarrassed and shy to speak to each other. I maybe should have felt jealous that someone else had spent more time with Iruka before the war than I had but I couldn't bring myself to feel like it was the same thing.

This felt different.

I knew that it felt more like a relationship that leaned away from familial and brotherly. There had only been a few comparable moments I'd ever seen between strangers, men and who usually hid their needs behind closed doors but found freedom in clubs downtown. These moments I'd never considered before or cared to think of; moments between other people who lived their own lives as they wanted without needing my opinion. Now it seemed like opinion and thoughts were being called upon.

I ignored the encroaching feeling that maybe I'd just helped someone else cheat on their spouse. It still felt like another secret I would have to keep, either now or in the future.

After taking many minutes to myself, I stepped back into my own home unannounced to the sound of scoffing laughter, chuckles and full bellied laughs. I'd forgotten what Iruka's laughs truly sounded like, not the suppressed and tired ones that I'd become used to since the war.

"Kakashi," I heard Iruka scoff and stepped into the doorway to find them both sitting on my couch, leaning into each other with smiles that warmed my heart to no end. "That's not what you're supposed to do with… Naruto, where did you go?"

Iruka found me over Mister Hatake's shoulder, that wonderful smile still gracing his lips as he frowned playfully at me.

"I couldn't find it. I truly thought it was in the car," I lied and Iruka seemed at ease with that response. All the while, the eldest of us was lounging on the couch, his usual calm self but with the addition of a soft, ethereal smile.

"Kakashi suggested we go over to his home for drinks and food." Iruka smirked. "I know your pantry is probably empty at this time of the week."

At the teasing, I couldn't help but burn red. "I shop tomorrow."

"Ah, ever the predictable." I remembered a time when Iruka would always come over to help me pack my apartment with food and how he always knew when to show up without a call or letter. I couldn't decide if he was talking about me or if his words were truer about himself.

Following Mister Hatake through my yard and the path between the trees, we slid through the hedged gate separating our land into the beautiful mansion lawn next door.

We both looked over to find Iruka's jaw and brows growing further and further apart, astounded as he muttered, "Kakashi… This is all yours?"

"And more."

The comment was so casual but Iruka's astonishment and shock explained so much more than I could ever read, full of small clues to their past that I would never know or would only come to half comprehend later.

As we moved through the same halls Mister Hatake had shown me weeks prior, our host went into surprisingly great detail about the mansion. It had been built almost twenty years ago by a factory owner on the eastern side of Konoha who went out of business during the war.

I had never seen the man more animated or excited for anything in my life and never would. He seemed to glow from room to room with Iruka and I caught in his rays. Glancing from time to time to my dear friend, I found him equally blown away by everything and stunned by the light of the man they followed. He was beyond entranced.

After visiting the kennels, I wandered back up for a drink only to find I wasn't followed. Stepping back down, I slowed at the sound of voices talking.

"Are you okay?" Mister Hatake whispered in concern.

"I'm fine, I just… You have dogs, Kakashi." There was a fondness to Iruka's voice that had my chest swelling just by proxy. Curious, I slipped quietly down to peer down the hall of kennels. As they came into view, I saw the barest glimpse of Iruka's hand falling from the other man's chest, seemingly retreating. "You said you always wanted dogs. I'm so happy for you…"

Those last words were heavy with sincerity, falling upon their recipient like a warm blanket and turning his concern into something bittersweet. It was a face familiar to me, one I had seen when I had asked about his love life. It was a look dipped in the past and left to dry in the sun of the present, but instead of looking off across the bay, his gaze never left Iruka's.

"Thank you."

Their eyes locked again and I felt like I was looking at something that wasn't for me, something so secret and rare that human eyes weren't worthy.

Taking my leave back upstairs, I found my way into the kitchen to search for food where they soon joined me. To my surprise and Iruka's eagerness, we watched as Mister Hatake moved about the kitchen in a smooth, practiced choreography as he made us lunch and casually joined in the conversation every now and then.

"This is actually good," I mused with my mouth bursting to the brim with flavour.

"Don't act too surprised," Kakashi chuckled, chin in his hand as he kept stealing glances to the other man who was eating much slower than I. I didn't notice anything had changed from our happy conversation until a sniff caught my ear.

I had only seen my dearest friend cry a few times. That meal was soon added to my small list as I caught his burning cheeks and watering eyes as he excused himself. For a few moments, no one else moved. I glanced up to our host and saw him staring at the door Iruka had disappeared through, surprised and confused more than I was.

"I think maybe you should…" I nodded to the door, feeling that it wasn't my place.

With a slow nod, Mister Hatake drifted off through the door and I was left alone in the kitchen with my meal.

No noise made its way to my ear despite my curiosity, listening to nothing but the empty kitchen. Minutes stretched on and I wondered what was going on, what was happening. My worry urged me to move but I thought of Sakura and what I'd seen her doing, her secret I'd been keeping.

"What a beautiful day it is outside," Iruka strode back into the kitchen as if nothing had happened at all, ignoring the pink in his cheeks and the red around his eyes and nose.

Behind him, Mister Hatake followed slowly, hands in his pockets, "We can always go walking along the bay."

"That would be nice." Iruka turned to me expectantly. "Coming?"

"I actually have a big day tomorrow," I excused myself.

Later by the living room windows facing the bay, I saw two figures walking slowly down the beach. Recognising the hair pulled back of one and the glimmering colour of the other, I watched as they paused on the sands at the edge of my property. They were talking quietly, leaning in close to each other.

Then Iruka turned and headed up the path towards my home, leaving Mister Hatake standing on the sands for a moment before he too turned and headed home.

I waited by my front door for the knock I knew was coming and had it open in less than a second to an unsurprised Iruka Umino.

"Hey," We both greeted at the same time, breaking into familiar smiles.

"I'm sorry we didn't get to paint your bedroom."

"That's alright," I waved off Iruka's frown, glad to see that things were settling between us all again as he reached out to ruffle my hair softly.

A glimmer against his eyes in the night, I saw the Iruka I had known many years ago, the same man I used to see on the weekends over meals when I was in school. His grin was brighter, pressing into his eyes again and shining bright in the dark. He was happy again, for the first time in a long time.

He left me with an invitation from Kakashi: join them for cards.

And so, I did. I would find myself next door more often than at my own place over the next week or so. It was more drawing to be in the company of someone so sophisticated as Mister Hatake and the man who had become by big brother, two people who I admired and sought to become.

We spent so many hours talking about the state of politics, the world after the war and sometimes I would catch glimpses into their old lives together.

They had met at a party at the university. They had been inseparable until the war and yet I hadn't ever met Kakashi during that year.

From what I could piece together, they knew a lot about each other. They had been close, very close. I would sometimes find them stealing glances at each other, thinking that they were sneaky for the other not knowing. Close was a word that did describe them, but they weren't friends.

They acted much closer than simple friends. They stood much closer to each other. Their shoulders would brush without either of them thinking second of it. I even caught small moments where they would whisper to each other in chuckles and blushes.

There was something between them that wasn't simple.

Then one night, Iruka didn't go home at the same hour I did. He stayed at the mansion with Mister Hatake, both of them watching me leave down the path between the houses with fond smiles.

I don't know what they talked of that night or what happened. I still now couldn't conjure up in my mind what could have taken place, even now I respect them and care for them too much.

Because whatever happened changed nothing else after that. There was nothing different in the way they looked at each other or the smiles they shared. There was only once I caught something new, something different.

I had been swimming in the pool, enjoying the cool water as they basked under the warm sun in lounge chairs. There was a small gap between them. Mister Hatake had a boo flopped onto his face, half asleep as Iruka draped an arm over his own eyes. One pale hand sat open on the arm of the chair, Iruka's mirroring the same. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw just the slightest movement. A warm hand moved across the distance to lightly graze across fingertips. The other hand moved quickly, lacing with Iruka's and squeezing for just a second before they broke apart again.

Moments like those didn't happen often, they were stolen in plain sight and when they thought no one was looking. But they seemed happier. They relaxed into the new normal of being in each other's lives again.

And throughout it all, it felt like this was nothing new to me. It felt like this was meant to happen. And I was happy too.

I had Hinata calling me every night to talk. We met almost every day during my lunch break and planned to be married before winter hit. She had her bridesmaids all awaiting and ready while mine were all set for the big day to happen in a few months, all except my best man who had yet to know I had chosen him.

I had never the mind to ask Iruka when Mister Hatake was around. While I respected and admired Mister Hatake, I had just met him a few months ago and my spots for groomsmen had already been filled. I couldn't see him walking down the aisle with a woman on his arm either, at least no one that wasn't Iruka. I respected him enough to ask Iruka in private, something I had been planning on doing one party on Saturday night.

My plans quickly went down the drain though when Mister Hatake made a face down at the crowd they were watching, searching for the last piece of our trio.

Once I found what he saw, all I could say was, "Oh."

By the time we both wadded through the crowd to the two people we'd spotted from above, we had been beaten to the punch. In a black and white suit, Iruka should have been the pillar of sophistication, but he instead was tense. The reason for his frustration wasn't the blond woman next to him who seemed to be trying to make conversation and break things up. No, he was glancing between the woman on his arm and the man across from him without ever moving his head.

In an instant, his demeanor completely changed as a pale hand touched his arm.

"Iruka?"

Kakashi's voice was like a bell calling Iruka soul back from the cold blizzard it had been lost in. Flooded with relief and a hint of embarrassment, Iruka turned up to the man and smiled thankfully. "Kakashi."

"Ah, Mister Hatake," Ino quickly waved to the other two people she and Iruka had been caught between. "It's so nice to see you again."

"You as well, Miss Yamanaka." His gaze completely glazed over everyone else as he turned back to Iruka, presence soothing against the anxiety. "Iruka."

"That's right, you two already know each other. Oh, and it's Naruto too!" Ino took my arm quickly and pulled me into the fray of what was happening. And I surprisingly recognised everyone in the group. On Iruka's arm, Sakura flowed in her dress like a flower, dainty and poised all but her eyes. They were locked on the man next to her. Not her husband though, the man on her other side.

"I almost forgot," I felt Ino squeeze my arm but I didn't need her hint to know who I was meeting. "This is Sasuke Uchiha."


	4. The Autumn Breeze

"I almost forgot," I felt Ino squeeze my arm but I didn't need her hint to know who I was meeting. "This is Sasuke Uchiha."

While everyone else was frozen stiff, Mister Hatake took the lead as always and reached across the gap to shake the hand of Sasuke Uchiha, co-owner of Fugaku Uchiha's Tailor and sports store and the man Sakura was cheating on her husband with.

"Pleasure to meet you. I think I've met your brother."

"Pleasure," Sasuke spoke in short, quick words, tensing at the mention of his estranged brother and business partner. All of this I would later learn from Sakura. This stranger had, at first, given me the impression that he didn't get along well with his brother. Little did any of us know, this was an understatement. "My brother and I don't speak anymore."

"Ah, I hope the business goes well still." Mister Hatake wasn't an idiot, he could tell what was going on by how Iruka was acting and perhaps the pallor of my face but was playing it cool as always, watching and listening instead of taking action. He was the one to calm us all, but he only had eyes for Iruka after pleasantries were over.

And Sakura caught that. To her, it meant nothing at the time. She passed it off at that moment. Her attention was only on the man across from her, the one making eyes at her.

Ino and I felt like the odd men out between two couples until Sakura spoke up.

"How about a dance?" She exchanged her husband's arm for Ino and squeezed her tightly. "I'll give you my lovely Iruka for the night, of course."

Before Ino could even protest, Sakura and Sasuke swept into the crowd. I stared at the shadows of where they once were, shocked that Sakura had the audacity to be so blatant. Ino squeezed my arm in hers, drawing my attention to Iruka.

I couldn't tell what was going on in his mind. He was suddenly a stone wall again, cold and unmoving. In that moment, Mister Hatake's words came to mind. Did he love his wife?

I wondered if he was rolling that question around in his mind too.

"Kakashi," Iruka said abruptly, looking up at the man who was watching him, just as concerned as the rest of us. "Where's your bathroom again?"

After spending many weeks in this mansion, that question should have been mute.

"I'll show you," Kakashi offered, sweeping them away in an entirely new direction, away from the party and away from the crowd of dancers.

The hand on my arm squeezed but I already had my head set on following them.

"Go," Ino encouraged, glancing back towards the dancers. "I'll take care of her."

"Thank you, Ino." And I was off up the stairs, following the path I'd seen taken just seconds before until I lost the trail. It took a few moments to check the rooms I passed but soon enough I didn't need to wonder. I could hear Iruka's rage from a few doors down despite the loud music.

"We've been married two years," Was what I caught, leaning against the door as Iruka yelled, "Two no good, fucking years of hell, married to a child!"

"You married her, Iruka," Was Kakashi's calm, sensible response.

"Yeah, I married her." There was swearing again and then silence. Finally, Iruka's voice came again, quiet this time and I strained to hear. "I didn't have a choice."

An admission that I hadn't known.

For a moment, there were words too quiet to hear and I tried looking through the crack in the door to see what was going on. Sitting on low chairs, I managed to make out Iruka with his head in his hands. He was speaking, explaining something that had him looking worn and tired, far older than he was when he pulled his head up again.

"So, I took his deal… And here I am, stuck with a wife who I hate and who hates me back." He was resigned to his words, sniffing as the tears pooled over. "And all I can do is stare across the bay at the man I love."

His words were unsurprising to me, neither was the way Kakashi reached across the distance and took Iruka's hands, pressing their foreheads together and saying things too low to hear. And it was suddenly something I couldn't watch, something so intimate and private. The facade my dear friend had been holding back was starting to crack under pressure like ice melting in the spring. It was a side he'd never shown me.

Taking my leave, I headed back to the party and looked down at the mass of people living their lives as if nothing else mattered, as if now was the only truth.

"I lost them," Ino sighed as she joined me moments later. "They stopped dancing almost as soon as they saw you leave."

"How modest of them," I snarked anxiously and Ino chuckled, analysing me.

"You know what they are, right? Kakashi and Iruka." I nodded at what she was referring to and she gave a sad smile. "I didn't know why he threw these parties at first. Heck, I only just figured it out tonight. You can tell by the way they look at each other."

Her hard exterior slowly melted back into wistful and dreamy as she spoke and we watched the crowd for a long time before I asked her, "What do you think will happen now?"

She shrugged, "I don't know."

We didn't know what was in store for any of us. Even as the party wound down and the mansion emptied, we drifted through without knowing where we were going as we waited for the others to come back to us and normalcy.

At first, Mister Hatake appeared with a drink and Iruka soon followed, his eyes faintly red despite falling back into the elegant persona he hid behind. He smiled at me with compliments to the party as if everything were as they once were but we both knew that it was all for presentation. And I had known he wasn't happy, that most of the life he'd lived was a lie. With that knowledge, I should have done something.

I briefly thought of putting my head on his shoulder but I didn't.

"Hello, darling." Instead, Sakura turned up out of the shadows to snatch his arm like he was a dog on a leash. To her surprise though, he didn't take well to being chained up.

"I'll pull up the car." Iruka was suddenly out of her grip and out the front door without a second glance, leaving Sakura stunned. Then there was a flicker of worry and her eyes snapped to me.

As we waited for the car to pull up, she slid up beside me and grabbed my arm, whispering in my ear, "Does he…?"

"I didn't," Feeling the anger bubble up, I was about to shrug her arm away but found her worry melting from paranoia into sadness and a deep regret.

"Thank you so much for the wonderful night, Mister Hatake." She put on a brave face and Mister Hatake looked to genuinely return her smile.

"It was a pleasure, Miss Umino." Iruka pulled up in the car at that moment and Mister Hatake held out his arm to escort her down the steps. I trailed behind, listening as he held the door open for her. "What a dependable husband you have."

His words caught everyone's attention, even Iruka heard from the car where he had been stiffly sitting only to soften at Mister Hatake's words. Sakura on the other hand seemed to shrink inside herself, mumbling as she got into the car, "Yes, dependable."

"Kakashi?"

At Iruka's call, the older man leaned down. I couldn't see his face but from the light reflected in Iruka's eyes, I felt like I could see his smile reflected back, "Yes?"

"Would you like to join us tomorrow for lunch?" A sudden question that had his wife studying him. And in that second, I could see a recognition in her that Iruka was behaving differently. She could tell from everything about him like I had a few weeks before that there was something rare and shimmering between them, especially when she turned to look at Mister Hatake.

"If you'll have me, of course."

"Perfect, come over around noon?"

"I'll be there."

Sakura suddenly asked, "Naruto? You're coming too, right?"

They all turned to me, expectant and waiting for me to say, "Sure."

With plans set and a bad feeling sitting upon our shoulders, we watched them roll back down the drive and onto the main street.

For a moment, we stood together before Mister Hatake turned back to the home and consequently up to us with a sad smile as he sauntered back up the steps. "Let's go inside, children."

"Children," I scoffed but Ino flicked her hand my way in annoyance at my attempt at humour.

We adjourned to the study with drinks and were quiet for a long time, surrounded by stories far more complex than the one we found ourselves in but none as personal as when Mister Hatake muttered from where he stared out the window, "He's going to divorce her."

Ino's gasp echoed throughout the silence that followed. Contrarily, I couldn't move or speak. A weight was both pulled from our shoulders and replaced by a new sense of dread.

"He won't," The new voice came from high up on the second level from out of sight. Sasuke Uchiha, dressed in the same black suit as earlier descended the spiral stairs to our level. All the while, I glanced back to find Mister Hatake unsurprised by him as if he had known through some sixth sense that we hadn't been alone. With a smirk, the tailor stepped down to our level as he swirled a drink, "He knows how much her reputation is worth. If he leaves her, they'll both look like villains."

There was a rumbling, dark chuckle from the window and we watched as our host slowly and languidly sipped his drink. It was a lazy, calculated move that set the room even further on edge, asserting his dominance as the eldest and wisest of us all. I could see Sasuke's gaze grow angrier by the second from the corner of my eye. I couldn't empathize with that intense frustration, the anger of being belittled and thought less of just like the years spent as a younger brother. But I did understand the frustration and urge to change your own fate and status.

"If she won't do it, he will," Mister Hatake assured and he didn't wait for Sasuke to leave before asking to the window, "And what will you do? Wed her after the divorce and stir the pot even more? Or will you continue to take advantage of her feelings for you?"

He was indifferent in his stance and speech but his words were laced with silent poison, the reality falling heavy on their shoulders and I caught sight of Sasuke before he stormed out, eyes dark and full of rage. He said nothing though, knowing that he had no answer to those questions and how they questioned his own mettle. There was a promise in his eyes though that spoke of things to come and I shivered.

With a whirl, he swept out of the room and was gone.

The ticking of a clock echoed throughout the room as Ino stood slowly, hands wringing her dress as she asked, "Kakashi… Why did you do that?"

He looked to us, raising a brow but nonplussed by her growing concern or how pale and frightened she looked. I noticed the shaking in her hands and I could almost feel the worry in her bones. I didn't understand what made her so upset and so fearful for what had just happened.

"Do what? Ask him a question?" Mister Hatake languidly blinked at her as if her question meant nothing to him and she clenched her jaw. "If he can't answer a simple question, then he should stop playing with other people's lives."

There were no words that came to her mind or my own in that moment. Instead, she turned tail and left.

I was left with my host and a swirling pool of worry and confusion.

With a deep sigh, Mister Hatake dropped the mask of composure as he sat, brows furrowing and bringing his shaking glass to his lips. It was a moment of true humanity that caught me off guard, the anxiety in his eyes and I leaned out of my seat to demand, "Kakashi, what was all that?"

"The mob is a powerful thing, Naruto," He explained darkly, downing the rest of his drink and glowering at the floor. "And that power can't be handled like a rag."

"What does that even mean?" I urged, going out of my whirling mind with what he was implying.

"The Uchiha are very, very old money for a reason," He went on. "We have to be careful… All of us."

Looking the way Ino left, I asked in a state of shock, "Does anyone else know? Does Sakura? Iruka?"

"No, just Ino and I." He looked up at me, eyes commanding as he said, "And now you do too."

I must have looked faint because Mister Hatake dropped a glass in my hand and ordered me to drink as he sat down across from me. If he felt any more fear, it was all swept away with a warm, calming smile as he said, "They won't lay a hand on you, Naruto. Trust me. I'll make sure of it."

There was a suggestion in his tone that made me wonder even more. I went to bed that night wide-eyed and worried.

Every inch of my being was on edge, tense with anxiety that someone was watching me. I worried the entire time if I was a target and if I was on their hit list. Did Sasuke have that much power?

There were so many questions running through my mind that I forgot myself and my life. The phone rang but I was too afraid to answer, fearing the worst. I didn't read any of the notes I'd left out for myself and got ready for the day, hurrying to put on clothes and look presentable for lunch with the neighbours from across the bay. The same neighbours who were wrapped intricately into a complicated web that spanned the distance between here and the city.

I had the right to worry for that afternoon. Not for my own safety though.

But as I sat in the Umino tearoom, I was within and without.

While Iruka and Kakashi chatted warmly about how Iruka's department was going on and how Kakashi wanted to go to a restaurant downtown, I felt like this was all too familiar yet strangely foreign. I had taken part in conversations like this many times over. We would laugh and joke, acting like fools until I would leave and give them their privacy. But Iruka would always smile in the same brilliant way towards Mister Hatake and he would quirk a fond smile back.

This time though, Sakura threw her way into the room, pointedly sitting right next to me on the couch with a salted smirk as she asked, "What do you think of the family home, Mister Hatake? I trust Iruka showed you every room."

"Of course," He answered cordially, eyes still on Iruka who kept smiling back. "It's a lovely, warm home."

"Thank you," She forced a smile, noticing the glance being shared across the room. I could almost see her physically brush her worries away as she moved on into talking about her friends and how she'd taken up horseback riding again. They talked and I somehow managed to right myself again enough to be able to join.

"And then I fell right off the horse and into the lake," I recounted as the others chuckled and laughed. My stories kept the conversation going for a while but I could see Iruka's attention drifting off. Whether it was nostalgia from our time together or from time with the man next to him, his gaze was drawn within and I could tell what he was thinking when he took a deep breath and straightened himself. It was preparation, getting ready to do something and I wasn't the only one who noticed that his steeled attention was directed to Sakura.

And Sakura could see that in him, the way he was building up towards her biggest fear.

"Let's go to town." She jumped up, surprising us all and she immediately turned pleading eyes to me. "We haven't been to town in forever. Remember when you used to come shopping with us girls, Naruto?"

"I remember," Was all I could say before she yanked me up. The others followed but I knew that this wasn't over by a long shot. It was simply delaying the inevitable.

Like a hurricane of fine yellow fabric, Sakura led me to the cars where she hopped into the sleek coupe that she and Iruka shared, dragging me in with her as she called, "Naruto and I will lead!"

As soon as the engine started and we set off, her true colours shone through in her quick, rough driving. "I can't believe this."

"Believe what?" My attempt to be naive went well with her rage and she gripped the wheel harder.

"Naruto, I'm going to tell you something, okay?" She kept everything glued to the road as trees and houses zipped by. "Since you know my secret, I'll tell you his."

"His?" She was speaking about Iruka, I realised.

"He's a pansy."

And the truth was finally said out loud, uncaring and unsurprising but simply out there in the open.

She went on as my mind slowed to a halt. "A friend of my father's told me after we were married about a time he'd gone to a pansy club in the city before the war and saw Iruka there with another man. I didn't believe it at the time. I thought he was just trying to stir the pot. But he said he told my father. And..."

Her voice drifted off, thinking of the power her father held at Iruka's university. "I thought maybe he'd accepted to marry me because my father would put in a good word for him at the university. Most men do and they still love their wives."

"He cares about you, Sakura," I finally argued but her frustration was pulled so tight she shook her head stiffly.

"But he doesn't love me." And in a low, quiet voice, she admitted, "And I don't love him."

Speaking had slipped me out of many problems in school. I may not be the smartest and I certainly wasn't back then but at least I could speak to people and back my words up with actions. But that moment left me stunned and unable to do anything. All I could do was listen as she went on about what people would say if Iruka divorced her.

"They're in love," She gritted finally as she put the car in park and dropped the keys into the valet's awaiting hand.

I found myself caught between her rage and Iruka's determination as we sat in a hotel room downtown, watching Sakura fan her flushed face quickly in an armchair. Across the room, Iruka was pouring himself a drink with the bottle they'd ordered. On the couch, the picture of a calm sea, Mister Hatake held a drink Iruka had made for him and watched keenly.

Finally, Iruka turned, saying, "Sakura."

"We should go for a walk," She tried to interrupt, standing to leave but Iruka was already cutting off her route of escape.

"Sakura, I have a proposal to make."

Soothed by the soft words, Sakura took a deep breath and smoothed out her dress as she sat in compliance.

"I know you're cheating on me."

I almost spit out my drink and Mister Hatake sucked in a breath as we watched Sakura's face go blank and empty.

With a smirk, Iruka set his glass down. "Yes, I know all about your affair with the tailor. Sasuke's his name, right? Yes, I know all about how you go downtown every day when I'm at the university. Especially now that you've started going on the weekends too. And I know exactly why it took two hours too long to come back."

She pursed her lips and looked down at her lap, as if she were a child caught in the act and I felt so out of place. I was watching, the odd man out of this whole thing as Iruka went on, "Don't worry. I haven't told anyone. Except your father, of course. And do you know what he asked me?"

With no response, Iruka chuckled, "That I could end it."

What Iruka couldn't see was the growing rage across from him. On my side, I could see Sakura steaming, fuming from both ends but keeping it all carefully contained in a tight bow. She only broke when Iruka said as he put a hand on Mister Hatake's heavy shoulder, "So I propose we end this. Lay low for a little while and then we can both start again with people we truly care about."

"I knew it," Was the first thing Sakura said in response, standing slowly with shaking shoulders. "I know what you are, Iruka Umino. My father knew too, didn't he? That's why you married me, isn't it? Because he threatened to tell the dean and get you fired?"

The air became ice cold when Iruka didn't respond and she threw down her glass, shattering it against the floor.

"I could have married the man I wanted!" Her scream echoed.

"But you didn't!" Iruka called back, stepping up close until he was a hand away. "You said yes!"

"Because you were safe!" She screeched and they were both panting, breathless with all the rage of all the time they'd spent in married hate.

"And look where we both ended up," Was Iruka's dark growl before Sakura sent him into shock.

"I'm pregnant!"

The room stilled, everyone caught in shock. The clock ticked on. The drink on the floor soaked deeper into the carpet. The city outside still bustled but we were all caught in the words that she said and we all knew what this meant.

Now, I knew from conversations with Iruka at Mister Hatake's mansion that their relationship had been rocky. There was one night that he confided in me, told me a single thing that proved to me that neither spouse cared for each other or even wanted to be together. The truth was that they'd never laid together. Not before the marriage, not after the two years they'd been together. They weren't even sleeping in the same bed.

All of us knew this, even Mister Hatake who looked just as surprised.

A hand raised, poised to slap and Sakura's eyes went wide. Then it slowly dropped to Iruka's side again in defeat. It was him giving up on her, that she wasn't even worth the slap.

Tears welling and spilling over, Sakura choked back a sob and rushed out.

The three of us were left still. I couldn't move from my seat until I saw Iruka sway on his feet. I shot up as he dropped onto the couch's arm, Mister Hatake already by his side.

His hand held Iruka's shoulder as he nodded to the door, "Go check on her."

With a nod, I hurried out. As I closed the door behind me, I caught a glimpse of a hand clutching the back of Mister Hatake's jacket.

Hurrying down to the lobby, I thought for a moment I had lost her but caught a glimpse of pink and yellow outside.

Hidden behind a column where no passersby would see her, Sakura was clutching herself and shivering from the cold. She was drenched to the bone even only having graced outside for a second and was miserable.

"If we get a divorce, everyone will know it's not his," She whispered once I came close but said nothing else. Taking her shoulders, I brought her back until the hotel's canopy and motioned to the valet to bring her car around. We waited together for a few minutes, listening to the rain and a newspaper man barking out headlines. "Suspect flees scene of a murder!"

I drove her home as the rain kept coming down and I walked her into her home, both of us drenched. Down the cool, marble halls, we headed nowhere as she asked, "I've made a mess of everything, haven't I?"

"Well, it takes two to tango." She flashed a smirk my way and we both sighed.

"We should have gotten a divorce a long time ago. Technically our marriage isn't even valid since we…" We both knew what she was talking about and we flushed in embarrassment.

"Everything will be okay," I reassured her and she nodded to me absently, mind a million miles away and I left her at her bedroom door.

After a conflicted walk back to the drive, I drove my car home and waited. On my porch, I watched through the curtains of rain for any light next door at all. Finally, the rain slowed down to a trickle, the trees above helped the rain linger as I caught the sound of a car in the driveway over.

I walked into Mister Hatake's yard as he was pulling in and he nodded me to follow him inside. Too tired for the climb to the library, we dropped into the chairs by the pool and he explained, "Iruka's going to talk with her. He's thinking they're going to raise the baby together for the sake of everyone else, pretend its theirs."

"And what about you?"

At the question, he looked at me, completely perturbed by the question, "And what about me?"

"Well," I started, building up the courage to say, "You love him, don't you?"

He didn't agree but his quiet demeanor turned to the pool and the bay beyond, falling into that bittersweet gaze I had seen briefly before. "What happens to me doesn't matter. As long as he's safe and living a good life. If he still wants to visit, my door is always open."

"But…" I thought of my wife to be for the first time all day and imagined my life like Mister Hatake's. How lonely and longing it must be, always being so close yet so far.

"It's better this way," He assured and turned his chair to face me. "Naruto, promise me something."

"Anything," I answered without a second thought."

With a fond smile, Mister Hatake asked, "Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that there is more to life than meets the eye. Look underneath the underneath."

I knew those words, they were told to me by Iruka himself and I somehow knew that I was receiving these words from the very source Iruka got them from.

"I will," I assured. "But answer me one thing. How?"

The open question hung in the air for a moment as if we were both trying to discover what I meant and he chuckled, "Well, I wasn't lying to you when I said I won it in a game of cards."

And he hadn't. He told me that night about how he didn't grow up in money and that he came from the middle class. His father passed away many years ago and how he gambled all the insurance money in grief. He had skill in cards and chance, he realised. So, the games became more and more frequent. It was at one of these games that he met a man named Obito from the Uchiha family who offered him a job in the liquor business, all underground and under the table. He had been a free agent even after he had met Iruka. But the war changed everything.

An injury left him in a hospital somewhere near the sea for a long time. His business partner dead. It was only as he got back to Konoha that the news broke of Iruka marriage to Sakura.

"So, I took over part of business and used my money to buy this home," He mused, staring off across the bay to one of the homes with lights beginning to glitter against the water. The sun had long set and we simply set there as the wind picked up, the world beginning to chill. Smells of autumn were on the breeze and it felt like the world was getting colder, more cruel as I shivered.

"I think I'll head home. I should call Hinata," I mused and Mister Hatake nodded, getting up to escort me out. We strode across the terrace in quiet musing of the future and I let myself out the little gate to the walkway that bridged our homes.

"Hey, Kakashi!" I called before he could turn away, grinning from the hedges as I yelled, "We should hold another one of your parties! Turn your house into a festival again!"

I could hear his faint chuckle from where I stood and he called back, "As you wish."

With a final wave, I turned to home with the lasting image of Mister Hatake's fond smile and sorrowful eyes as the lights from his home casted shadows across the brilliant greens and the stones of the terrace. It was the last time I ever saw him. The image was melted into my mind and even now I wake up in a cold sweat with that very same smile haunting my dreams along with the memories that played out soon after.

At around noon, I went over again to Mister Hatake's home only to hear a gunshot as I crossed the hedges again. The only explanation I got was two men I had never seen leaving, one with hair like fire and the other like ice.

I found his body in the kennel, his dogs crying and barking from their enclosures. He was slumped against the wall, blood splattered everywhere from a hole in his chest. When I called his name, he didn't move. There was just the sound of dogs barking and soon that barking turned into people yelling at me, asking me questions I couldn't answer.

It was only when a car pulled up the front steps that I snapped out of it.

He looked like he had just come from work. His pale suit was pressed nicely. But his eyes didn't match. Erratic, he only had to see my face and he knew the rumours were true. His whole body almost collapsed in on itself, hands covering his mouth as he bent in on himself. With every tear, my heart broke into a million pieces and I found myself standing in front of him, hand on the jacket of his bent back as if it would help.

I remember the rest of that day as an endless line of police and photographers and newspaper men coming in and out the front door. They were saying it was a mob murder, retribution. Itachi Uchiha had apparently been found dead many hours before and they were all pining the murder on the dead man.

Hinata's blurry face eventually graced me with brief solace but it wasn't enough to break me out of the present. Not after what had happened. All I had left were the memories of fights, lazy afternoons and lavish parties hosted by one Kakashi Hatake.

I only realised later that it had been my birthday.

His funeral had been a small affair. No one else came to visit him but me and Ino who hugged me, not Iruka. In his will, Mister Hatake had left all his possessions to the city except a few key things. Most of his books were given to me and he had even left me a large sum of money. It had me wondering when he had changed his will.

And I wished so much that life would go on. I felt stuck, caught in the past as the present rushed all around me. I went on planning my wedding with Hinata taking most of the effort. We were married a few weeks later.

The day had been wonderful, full of joy and was a great distraction from my own thoughts and emotions. The honeymoon had been wonderful too. Hinata soon moved into my tiny home and we were riding the waves of marital bliss over the next few days. Hinata went to the doctor soon after and found out that she too was pregnant. Everything was beginning to look up for us, planning our future together in that small home.

It was my decision to visit the home across the lake and see how my dearest friend was doing that made everything spiral. I hadn't asked him to be my best man. He had come with Sakura as a guest and everyone fawned over them and Sakura's growing belly. They were both all smiles and laughs at the time and that had been the only part of my wedding that brought me frustration and anger.

I was going to confront him. I was going to ask him why he seemed so fine while I was still stuck far in the past. I was going to ask him how he was able to move on.

But when I stepped into the Umino household, I could tell I was deeply wrong.

Sakura warned as she led me to his office, "Be nice to him, please."

"Okay…"

As I stepped into the room, I found him at his desk, going through papers and doing work as if it was a normal day. When he saw me, he smirked and joked, "Come to borrow money?"

"Only if you have some to spare," I answered back and sat uneasily down across from him. Most of the books on his shelves were gone save for a few sitting neatly on one of the bookcases and I wondered why they were so important. For a while, we chatted idly about work and he asked how Hinata was doing. I told him about how the pregnancy was coming along well.

"Good, good," Iruka smiled as he went back to his paper, scrawling something before putting down his pen. "Now, what's the real reason you're here?"

He saw completely calm and I remembered how just a few weeks ago, he had been a mess of emotions. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," He answered with a blink. "Is that all you came to ask?"

"I meant, are you alright?" I asked pointedly, looking him straight in the eyes.

For a few moments, the fireplace crackled. I watched him, trying to spy anything out of order and I waited a long time before I caught a hint of anything. He was staring me straight in the eyes as a single tear began to pull down his cheek and he quickly looked away, swiping at his face as he insisted, "I'm fine."

"Iruka-"

"I said I'm fine, Naruto," He snapped loudly and the room went quiet as he put on a stretched, plastered smile. "I'm fine."

His repeating didn't give me that impression. I still sat there with him though. For a while, we just sat in quiet silence until I took my leave. He led me out and it was only on the doorstep that I left anything real from him again. Taking my shoulder, he pulled me in for a warm, lingering hug.

"Thank you, Naruto," Was what he said to me.

I was awoken the next morning by my phone ringing.

"Naruto," Sakura muttered from the other end, her voice low and cold. "He's gone."

And for the second time that year, I attended a funeral. Sakura had found him in the study, unmoving and cold with a glass in his hand and an empty medicine bottle on the desk. He had gone peacefully, quietly in the night without a word.

And then everyone was moving again, as if they were finally free from some curse. Sakura remarried to Sasuke who had taken over the family business. My first child was born and life went on and on without them while I was inconsolable. I was left with only their memories, the advice they gave me and all the regrets that came with them.

I would often stand out by the bay, staring across the waters to the twinkling lights that rested there and thought of Mister Hatake and Iruka. How they had both built their lives up only to make so many choices and decisions that led them to their present. They had cared for each other so deeply yet were ready to put the happiness of others before their own. I was angry at them, frustrated for giving up what they wanted for the selfish desires of others. But I hadn't known about their selfishness before then so who was I to criticize them after the fact when I was just as complicit in their acts?

We simply take what we are given. We have the option to fight it and deal with the consequences or roll with the punches. Those times were simply a transitory moment in the world from one time to a next, exchanging what was then for what is now. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of Mister Hatake's endless patience or the amazing and beautiful life that Iruka taught me to live. He had brought me up to be a fine man and though I regret not being as much of a man to him as he was to me, I know that he was ready to live with the choices he'd made.

So, we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.


	5. Epilogue

And with those last words, I pulled the sheet out from the typewriter and laid it down on the rest, feeling like all the weight of the world was finally off my shoulders and placed into the box I would later take to an editor once Tsunade sent it back to me.

With that words written on paper, I closed the box and finally sealed away what was left of my grief. The rest of my luggage was packed, ready to be put on a train back to Konoha. I had sold my tiny home in the Overgrowth. Hinata had gone with the children to live with her family as I took the time with the doctors and got better. I was planning on heading back to the city and getting an apartment while I looked for a job. Now that I had finished writing though, I was itching to write more, a journal in my pocket to be filled with verses while on the train.

Eager to get going, I threw on my coat and headed out of my dormitory. Before I could head to the train station though, I had one last stop to make.

As I walked in, Tsunade smile brightly and welcomed me, "Well, isn't it my favourite patient?"

"Yours truly," I grinned and eagerly set the box down in front of her, her whole expression going surprised.

"You finished it?"

"It's a little late but…"

"No, no, I didn't think you'd even get half of it done at all."

I huffed in response but found that she was genuinely smiling, her hard exterior so warm and loving. She even stood and hugged as she said, "I'm so proud of you."

And with that, I left grinning and headed down to the train station. She promised to send it back to me once she was done reading and I would receive it only a few days later with a written note about how amazing it was.

I just stepped up onto the platform to wait for my train when I heard a tiny voice yell, "Daddy!"

There, waiting by the side was my family. Boruto immediately flung himself at my legs and I hugged him tightly as Hinata lingered back, baby in arm.

"Hello, darling," I greeted with a true smile and I could see the tears welling in her eyes before she rushed forward and hugged me tightly. We were both holding each other for the first time in months, tears dripping down our faces. And I knew we would be okay.

* * *

**_Boats Against the Current_**


End file.
